Can you charge Bail?

As many of you know I use to work on this little show called Two and A Half Men… and anyone who has turned on a radio, TV, web browser in the last month has heard about the insane breakdown of a certain star… thought I’d share a little story about when I was sent to break into his house… So for a giggle, here is a blog from a couple years ago...

Can you charge Bail?
February 21, 2006

Working in production I've had to do many a strange thing over the years. Everything from pulling everything green out of a stars flower arrangements to Fed-Exing pickles and Diet Red Bull to the Bahamas every other week. But Sunday takes the cake. Sunday afternoon I was woken up from a much-needed nap by a frantic phone call. Turns out the courier service at work accidentally delivered a couple of scripts to Mr. Hot Shot’s house, scripts that were supposed to go to our director. Normally this wouldn't be too big of a deal, but these were advance scripts of our show that weren't supposed to go out to begin with. Of course the normal thing would have been to just call him, tell him what had happened, and send a new courier to retrieve them. But no, my paranoid boss needed them to be retrieved without him knowing about it. So thanks to his assistant’s help I set off to Encino, armed with the security codes to break into his property to retrieve these scripts from his kitchen counter before he realizes he has them. Sounds simple right? And only just a tad illegal…

The first dilemma was what was I to wear? Do I go in all black in my stealth spy get-up? Or maybe my sweatpants that I was already wearing? Nah I thought it best to get a little sex-ed up, after all if he finds me snooping around his back yard looking for the scripts then I might as well get ready to flirt my way out of the situation! After all he’s a notorious rake so that may work to my advantage…

So up to Encino I went, on my quest, the mission impossible theme in my head the entire way. Luckily for me my adventure didn't end up with a trip to jail for stalking, it ended in the driveway of the ouse. The couriers really screwed up and instead of putting it in the back like they usually do, I found it in the mailbox. So even though I might have looked like a deranged fan going through his mail I at least wasn't picked up for stalking. The adrenaline finally stopped rushing through my head as I pulled away. YES I pulled it off!!! So next time you need a little reconnaissance mission to a celebrities house you will know who to call, Me- Warner Brother’s Angel

The Woman VS The Bitch

When I was 18 I had my whole life mapped out for me- at 27 I’d meet the man of my dreams, move in & get engaged a year later at 28, at 29 I’d get married and at 30 I would have made my first million and pop out my first kid… When I was 21 I moved to LA and was just as ambitious, if not more. I knew I’d make my first million in that decade and was willing to do anything and everything it took to make it happen (shy of participating in the casting “couch” of course!). I got hired on a succession of films and TV shows, working 16 hour days and loved every moment of it. I managed to work nights, get up early in the morning to surf and still have energy for a full day of work after that. And then my career hit a snag, I took a gamble and left the very successful hit TV show that I worked on for an opportunity to move up on a Film. But after that film was over I ended up out of work for the first time in my adult life, and I didn’t like those unemployment payments very much. In the last couple of years I’ve worked as much as I could, a TV show here and there, a pilot or two, a few films, some workout videos, a little reality TV but nothing has been too stable and I’ve managed to blow through my nest egg, reached 30 not only without my million but with no savings and an apartment that was sublet. The problem with having had some time off the last couple of years is it’s changed my priorities. I’m older, those 16 hour days are too much for me especially when I’m not use to them anymore. The 2 ½ hour commutes to most of the studios kills me, especially with my gas guzzling SUV. But most importantly I don’t have what it takes to make it, I’m not ruthless. The entertainment industry is very much a dog eat dog world. You don’t make it to the top being the nice guy; you make it by stepping on everyone on your way up, especially as a female. And I sadly have that nice gene when it comes to work. I’m very much like my father and have an insane work ethic that has both gotten me where I am today but also hindered me from getting further up in the chain. This week was a perfect example… I had to make a decision on a job by Thursday morning, and it’s a good job, one that I will enjoy but it’s not the job that I really wanted. The job that I really wanted I was interviewing for on Friday. It was a big step up, on a series that would enable me to have work through fall… everyone told me to just accept the first job, interview for the 2nd and if I got it then drop out of the first. Seems simple enough. Except I couldn’t do it. Once I give my word I can’t go back on it… it’s a fault I have. Instead I did the safe thing, I couldn’t risked ending up without either jobs so I took a job as an assistant coordinator on two back to back pilots for Warner Brother. Do I regret that decision to give up on the job I really wanted, yes. Do I think that maybe I made a mistake, yes. Would I make that same decision again if I could, sadly yes on that one too. Part of it is that I have seen that no one here in Hollywood has any loyalty, and I’ve always thought that my crazy loyalty was something that would set me apart… and it has. I’ve gotten most of my jobs based on word of mouth and recommendations from people I’ve worked with. And I’m sure I will get more based on that… but at the same time I have to ask myself is this what I really want? Do I want to just be the nice little guppy amongst the school of sharks? Or Maybe it’s time to either put on my big girl teeth and take a bite out of my competition or just stop swimming… But if I just stop swimming, then what?

RIP G

People often ask me, what does D do for a living? And I always have to pause a bit before I tell them… Um, Rocket Scientist. And needless to say they are surprised. If they’ve known me since before D and I dated then they known the endless amount of losers that I’ve dated- unemployed actors/writers/models, stunt men, professional jet skiers, bartenders even a stripper (though at the time I didn’t know that was what he did for a living!). Though if they are newer acquaintances they still are equally surprised because I’m not quite the girl you would imagine a rocket scientist with… for one I’m a typical Californian blonde. And I don’t mean that as an insult to blondes but we all know what a reputation us blondes get. Add to that the fact I’m more of a free spirit, I work in film and TV, I love yoga and surfing way too much, I’m always into every latest green crazy or organic diet frenzy. And without doubt if you see me I will always have a hair out of place, a snag on my clothes and of course a stain somewhere! Nothing that would scream Rocket Scientist Material… but for us it somehow works. Of course D is always reminding me he’s not exactly a Rocket Scientist; he’s an Aerospace Engineer… well Google that term and up comes Rocket Scientist. And last week I got to experience just how, for lack of better words, awesome he really is. I was able to attend a Rocket launch for an environmental satellite that he built, G.

We got to attend a NASA briefing where I actually was able to know what this project was that he worked on, most of his projects I can’t know more of what he’s doing than what time he goes to work and comes home! We were able to attend a reception (IE Free Drinks!) in honor of the launch, and even got to see a slideshow that had pictures of him building the satellite, and in his Spacesuit (HOT!). And we finally got to wait in a uber cold field at 2 in the morning waiting for the launch… sadly there was a communication problem with the Rocket and we didn’t get to witness the launch. It was postponed till today… and even sadder I have to report to this morning’s launch didn’t go to well and that poor G is now swimming in the South Pacific. Luckily the problems were nothing to do with the satellite, but the actual rocket. So in this instance it is good he was not the actual Rocket Scientist that I believe him to be… though still sad that his work will not get to go into space. But even if G didn’t make it into orbit, it’s still pretty neat that this is what my boyfriend does… And something that makes me unbelievably proud of him! And maybe there was no launch last week when we were there, but we did get a romantic 2 days away, a cheesy B&B and a day to just bum around Santa Barbara! Doesn’t take a Rocket Scientist to figure out just how perfect that was…